Chanel car?

I'm all for the concept and what not, but i hope they don't really build it.

Chanel Fanmobile!

Hopes...

Compliment :)

Battlefield cover

since stupid file den's account thing is all effed up

My Winter Fetish.

I'm pretty sure every one has a seasonal fashion fetish. I know some girls love to wear their furry boots or their uggs in the snow. The water stains look disgusting though, but I still give probs to the girls who uh have the guts to go out and wear them even with the water stains.

Any ways back on topic, I was wandering around the mall and almost every store had all their winter accessories out as well as their christmas stuff. The person accompanying me commented how early it was for it to be all out. I agree, Halloween isn't even over yet. Well what caught my eye at every store I commonly shop at were the scarves. I just noticed that, everyone I buy a new one to add to the small collection I have. I actually don't know why scarves appeal to me at all. Sure, its a staple and every person has to have one for the cold winters in Canada, where everything is ice nad igloos.

Although, most scarves in stores are the same generic looking stripes (think Harry Potter), cable knit, the basic wool knitted ones with little fringes at the end, I actually like the ones that Suzy Shier and some other stores have. I can't find can't a picture of it, so I'll try my best to describe it. Basically its a scarf with flowly ends. It's like if a flower, i.e. a rose, was a long string with the petals connected.. I think that's how you would describe it. It looks really nice, the only reason why I like it is because how ever you wear it, it will still look nice. It's so versitile, and fashionable! I shall find a way to get a hold of one and get a picture of it. I suck at being descriptive.

I should learn to knit so I can make my own, and save a small portion of money on it.

epik high 말로맨

This song actually makes me feel better even though i don't know what the hell they're saying.
Don't hate appreciate

ugh... stupid...

I understand your my best friend and everything. I have to be happy for you because this is the first time you had a "real boyfriend" and he treats you like royalty, but I'm not happy for you. Fuck, I think i dislike him. Simply because he wouldn't stop teasing me about the stupid "wee" comment. Damnit it's been FUCKING 4 MONTHS. Drop it already. It's not even funny to me any more, so please stop telling everyone before i decide to punch you in the face and possibly kick you in the nuts. Yes I am aware that I am fucking risking myself and my friendship with your girlfriend. Yes I admit your funny but please draw the fucking line there.

Honestly you don't see me pulling out my phone and playing "Hey Jude" every chance I get, mocking you and your relationship with the friggin pansy.

Last night, I don't know if i had a fun night or not. I couldn't bear standing behind you in line watching you two be all lovely dovey. I'm not being bitter or cold. It's just that I'm still not over my ex. Just watching you two made me think about what if he was there with me that night. I felt like if I was missing out on something the whole damn night watching and being around you two. I know you guys are able to make Jess feel like as if she wasn't a third wheel, and I know i still had her and Vincent's company; but it just frigging killed me inside. It just made me miss being in a relationship with my slinky some more...and getting over that is already hard enough.

ugh. I think I'm not gonna attend any more get togethers with you any more, until i know I'm really over him and the feeling of being in a relationship.

I am the filter

宮心計

First ancient series ive watched in a hell of a long time. It's suppose to be a Chinese remake of Jewel in the Palace.

So far.... it's the sexors.

nuff said 

random moments with besties

 [Jess] says:
*annie what class are u in??
annie` v^^v -class says:
*Psych
[Jess] says:
*ooo ic ic
annie` v^^v -class says:
*what class are you in
ツτнε sτερн says:
*sitting on my ass 101

Ideal wedding?

I know I never really said I wanted to get married, but I'm bored and trying to procrastinate on my homework. So what better way than to procrastinate! I think this entry may take more than one part but I'll see.

First things first, location. I want to get married in the summer, aside from the fact that I'm a late spring/early summer baby. I don't know why, but I love the idea of an outdoor wedding. You have the outdoors surroundings that you can play around with. Like I can get married on a cliff with the ocean being the background or like in a garden. I know, I just picked poor choice of words but I'm having some brain farts here.

But for an out door wedding the plus side is something like this:

If not then I'll have the boring, Church wedding, either that or a traditional Chinese Red wedding. With the Qi Pao and chances to change into many different dresses. I like the idea of being able to change the dress around.

I haven't found out what I want for an ideal dress yet. I kind of want to have this in my hair, Okay maybe not so big, but a little smaller, so it doesn't take over my whole face. That only applies if I plan on having an out door/summer wedding. If I'm having an indoor wedding I think I'll stick with a boring veil or not wear one at all.  I would also like a simple up-do or an half do, depending on my length of hair. If my tastes don't change in the future then I'm pretty sure I'd love to have an half up do.

Now as for dresses, I think I watch too much of Say Yes to the Dress, well when I had the chance, and when i was sitting on my ass getting my hair done. I love how there's consultants saying yes or no to the dresses, kind of like a personal shopper. I totally love the ladies on the show. They're all seem so easy going and have everything under control despite the fact that, they are on national t.v. and they must be under a lot of stress dealing with these crazy brides to be.

Well, as for an ideal dress I want something simple and nothing TOO poofy. I have a thing for poofy dresses, I have this weird fear that some one is gonna crawl under my dress and yeah, or like I'm gonna be stuck some where because the dress is TOO poofy and something got caught on the dress. I remember a lot of girls in my grad class all wore poofy dresses and they all got stepped on and ripped.

Now some ideal dresses i found,

Vera Wang.
I do like the design of the dress just iffy about the shoulder part.  I love how the bottom opens up, kind of like a tulip.

Vera Wang, again.

For the hell of it:

I know i said no to poofy dresses but I love the design on that.

and the shoes:

if not those ones, then I'll just wear white flats.

Find a person

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you' re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU... The one who turns to his friends and says, thats her...

mementos

So, I guess we all have our little somethings that we keep as a little  memory from ages. Either from your child hood, your teen years or something from your past relationships. Well, I was cleaning out my room and decided to throw some stuff out that I have in the shoe boxes in my closet. Man, do i have a lot of shoe boxes...it tells me how many pairs of shoes I've had in the past... well same thing as 2 full garbage bags of old clothes I'm going to donate.

Any who, back on topic, the things I found that I appeared to have kept through out high school were the letters that my pen pals or my friends that I've met online sent to me in the past. I also kept my happy notes from my grade 9 English Class (pictured above). Although most of them say the same thing, they still put a smile on my face. How? I simply don't know. Maybe because it's the fact that its a bit of assurance for me that my classmates doesn't think low of me? But then again they were forced to write something nice about me regardless of what they thought about me. Most of them said the same thing, "cute," "quiet," "cool"...etc. Don't know how that still puts a smile on my face.

Well, there's my collection of letters, I've collected over the few years. Well it's a combination of cards and letters combined together. Quite a bit, filled up one shoe box. I found one with a condom... yeah some one sent me a Christmas card with a condom inside.  The card dates back to 2006, no point in using that now, but it could make a good joke for a friend. I wished I was still in contact with these people who sent me the letters so I can just jokingly tell them, "oh hey i still have your letters, I know I'm weird but I don't know why i still have them."

So....do you have some sort of memento of things?

We can take a walk..

Are you waiting for your balls to drop?

I wished tahts how things were like for me right now. It's not that i don't feel loved or anything. Its just the fact that everyone seems to find something on my facebook or something and make a big deal out of it.For instance, when i was going out with one of my dick wad exes, his friends semed to made a big deal about some pictures on my facebook that I uploaded a long time ago. I don't remember what exactly it was but it had to do with something with kissing my exes.

Uhh...is there a problem there? Sure its nice to delete all the pics with your ex in it but if it was taken like years ago, I don't see a point in taking it down. The past is the past over and done with. Why the fuck are you digging it up in the first place? The only reason I can think of is just to stir the shit in the pot of shit that you have cooking up. All i gotta say is grow up. Are you doing this as an excuse to show that your balls really did drop? A cover up for your ball havent even dropped at your age? I shouldn't attack you any more over the net, its quite lame. Just like you...couldn't say it to my face.

Now, the second thing thats on my mind. Im pretty sure my friends are getting tired of me switching my facebook relationship status around every month or so. I dont want to burden them every time asking them to be my shoulder to cry on. I'd do the same for them, but I know how it feels to be dating all these losers all the time. Majority of the guys I've dated tend to be such nice sweet guys at first; then some how in the end they turn into some dick.

My best friend keeps telling me to find a decent guy. Decent? Sounds easy to do right? Wrong. I have to find some one that fits my best friend's standards. She has some pretty high standards but she's pretty easy going about things. Well, I kind of know who or what to base my next partner off of. My last ex, he was up there with my best friend. I have to agree, he was a really sweet guy- even though he was shallow at times, but everyone has to realize that no one's perfect. Man finding a "decent man" would be like finding the needle in the hay  stack- Impossible. I'm quite content if I don't find a decent guy...I wouldn't mind gtowing old with my dog. I mean unconditional love for the rest of his life! Why not? I just want to be loved like every living creature out there.

-insert image 2-

10 things im thankful for?

Well, yesterday was Turkey Day in Canada, Columbus Day in the states. I was too busy writing my sociology research paper proposal. I want to shoot myself at the moment for putting it off til the last minute. Gah i hate procasination.

any ways the 10 things Im thankful for,

1. Having such great friends! I love you guys, platonicly. Your always there for me when I need a shoulder to cry on or to lend an ear. I know I am a closed off person most of the time, Im glad you guys understand why I don't want to let things out. Its just causes less trouble for me in the future and less drama. Who wants drama in their life?
2. a drama free life. 
3. Adopted families, you guys are 10x better than my real family.
4. Of course Bat dog. 
5. Music, its something i need in my life. It's like clothing i feel naked with out it.
   
6. my Itouch, man this list is starting to sound more and more materialistic 
7. Pho? Pho Kyu? haha 

okay never mind I can only think of 7, I should really get back to my homrwork. its getting late and I want to sleep. 

A story about Tree,leaf, and the wind

People call me "Tree".

I had dated 5 girls when I was in Pre-U. There is one girl who I love a lot but never dared to go after. She didn't have a pretty face, good figure or an outstanding charm. She was just a very ordinary girl. I liked her. I really liked her. I liked her innocence, her frankness, her intelligence and her fragility. Reason for not going after her was thatI felt somebody so ordinary like her was not a good match for me. I wasalso afraid that after we were together all the feelings would vanish. I was also afraid other's gossip would hurt her.
I felt that if she were my girl, she'd be mine ultimately & I didn't have to give up everything just for her. The last reason, made her accompanying me for 3 years. She watched me chase other girls, and I have made her heart cry for 3 years. She was a good actor, and me a demanding director. When I kissed my second girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smiled and said, "Go on!" before running off. The next day, her eyes were swollen like a walnut. I did not want toknow what caused her to cry. Later that day, I returned from soccer training to get something & watched her cry in the classroom for an hour or so. My fourth girlfriend did not like her.There was once when both of them quarreled. I know that based on her character she is not the type that will start the quarrel. However, Istill sided my girlfriend. I shouted at her & ignored her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend. The next day, she was laughing & jokingwith me like nothing happened. I know she was hurt but she did not know deep down inside I was hurt too.
When I broke up with my fifth girlfriend, I asked her out. Later thatday, I told her I had something to tell her. I told her about my breakup. Coincidentally, she has something to tell me too, about her getting together. I knew who the person was. His pursuit for her had been the talk of the School. I did not show her my heartache, just smiles & best wishes. Once I reached home, I could not breathe. Tears rolled & I broke down. How many times have I seen her cry for the man who did not acknowledge her presence?
During graduation, I read a SMS in my hp. It said, "Leaf's departure isbecause of Wind's pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"

Leaf
_______________
People call me Leaf.
During the 3 years of Pre-U, I was on very close terms with a guy as a buddy kind. However, when he had his first girlfriend, I learnt a new feeling I never should have learnt - Jealousy. Sourness to the extreme limit. They were only together for 2 months. When they broke up, I hid my happiness. But after a month, he got together with another girl.
I liked him & I know he liked me. But why won't he pursue me? Since heloves me why he didn't he make the first move? Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt. After some time, I began to suspect that this was one-sided love. If he didn't like me, why did he treat me so well? It's beyond what you will normally do for a friend. I know hislikes, his habits.But his feelings towards me I can never figure out. You can't expect mea girl, to ask him. Despite that, I still wanted to be by his side. Care
for him, accompany him, and love him. Hoping that one day, he will come to love me. Because of this, I waited for him. Sometimes, I wondered ifI should continue waiting. The pain, the dilemma accompanied me for 3 years.
At the end of my 3rd year, a junior pursues me. Everyday he pursues me. He's like the cool & gentle wind, trying to blow off a leaf from a tree. In the end, I realized that I wanted to give this wind a small footing in my heart. I know the wind will bring the leaf to a better land. Finally, leaf left the tree, but the tree only smiled & didn't ask me to stay.
Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit. Or cause Tree didn't ask her to stay.

Wind
________________
Because I like a girl called leaf. Because she's so dependent on tree, so I have to be a gust wind. A wind that will blow her away. When I first met her, it was 1 month after I was transferred to this new school. I saw a petite person look ing at my seniors & me playing soccer. During ECA time, she will always be sitting there. Be it alone or with her friends, looking at him. When he talks with girls, there's jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her, there's a smile in her eyes. Looking at her became my habit. Just like, she likes to look at him.
One day, she didn't appear. I felt something missing. I can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness. The senior was also not there as well. I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my senior scolding her. Tears were in her eyes while he left. The next day, I saw her at her usual place, looking at him. I walked over and smiled to her. Took out a note & gave to her. She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled & accepts the note. The next day, she appeared & passes me a note and left.
It read, "Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow her away."
"It's not that leaf heart is too heavy. It because leaf never want to leave tree." I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls. I know that the person she loves is not me. But I have this perseverance that one day I will make her like me. Within 4 months, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times. Every time, she will divert away from the topic. But I never give up. If I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win her over. I can't remember how many times I have declared my love to
her. Although I know, she will try to divert but I still bear a small ray of hope.
Hoping that she will agree to be my girlfriend. I didn't hear any reply from her over the phone. I asked, "What are you doing? How come you didn't want to reply?" She said, "I'm nodding my head". "Ah?" I couldn't believe my ears. "I'm nodding my head" She replied loudly. I hang up the phone, quickly changed and took a taxi and rush to her place & press her doorbell. During the moment when she opens the door, I hugged her tightly.
Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay...

Moral
_____________________
In love, we win very rarely, but when love is true, even if you lose, you still win just for having the tingle of loving someone more than you love yourself. There comes a time when we stop loving someone, not because that person has stopped loving us but because we have found out that, they'd be happier if we let go....
Why do we close our eyes when we sleep? When we cry? When we imagine? When we kiss? This is because THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THINGS IN THE WORLD ARE UNSEEN.
There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind, but keep in mind that letting go isn't the end of the world.
It's the beginning of a new life. Happiness lies for those who cry those who hurt, those who have searched and those who have tried. For only they can appreciate the importance of the people who have touched our
lives.
A great love? It's when you shed tears and still you care for them, it's when they ignore you and still you long for them. It's when they begin to love another and yet you smile and say, "I'm happy for you." If love fails, set yourself free, let your heart spread its wings and fly again. Remember you may find love and lose it, but when love dies, you never have to die with it.
The strongest people are not those who always win but those who stand back up when they fall. Somehow, along the course of life, you learn about yourself and realize that there should never be regrets, only a lifelong appreciation of the choices you've made. Loving is not how you forget but how you forgive, not how you listen but how you understand, not what you see but how you feel, and not how you let go but how you hold on.
It's more dangerous to weep inwardly rather than outwardly. Outward tears can be wiped away while secret tears scar forever...
It's best to wait for the one you want than settle for one that's available. It's best to wait for the right one because life is too short to waste on just someone.

3 Cheers 2 True Love

Dear friend...

 K Y U . says:
 hm odd to be honest i dont know why anyone would leave you. from what I can tell how you are now is you are an amazing girlfriend
 i mean you work, go to school, and is cute and loveable lol

. K Y U . says:
 of course nie nie<3
 dont brind yourself down because you think you did something wrong ok? you're a perfectly fine girl
 and if i was living in canada, trust me lol you'd be the first girl id go after and id be persistent about it haha

 . K Y U . says:
 everytime i stop talking to you
 i always wonder "damn... if i was in canada i'd prolly be hella up on annie"
 hahaha nd i just think about how great of a girl you've become
 and it makes me smile to know that you're still safe and an amazing person

Dear Mister with the really long name aka Q,

Thank you for all the words of encouragement you gave me over the period of time. I don't know if you know how much they mean to me coming from you. I wished you can see my reaction when I read your kind words. I do wish you were in Canada too. I wouldn't mind dating you, well have a real relationship instead of that long distance thing we had long time ago. Thank you so much for being around when my mother was fighting for her life against cancer, thank you again for being there and listening to me cry over the phone. I kind of feel bad about the things I've said and done in the past, I really do. I thought you would of never stuck around... i thought you'd be like every other guy I've liked and dated. They never really stuck around as friends- even if they wanted to remain as friends.

Most of the times when you talk to me, I usually brush off all the compliments and the jokes you make about us being togther. I never thought you were being serious, after all you do have a girlfriend or probably a long line of girls waiting to date you. Sometimes I feel down when you tell me about the problems you have with your girlfriends. I don't understand why any one would act that way to you. I still don't know why you went out with Jane! I know its been 3-4 years and I still remember. I still remember the day you discovered "our song," then we later found out the person sings it lives in your area. I still remember about how our talks about if we got married you'd take my last name, so your intials will spell PAW instead of PAN. Ahh, such fond memories I have of us. 

You never fail to make me laugh, that trait feels like, at least to me, its a natural thing. It comes to you naturally and so effortlessly. You don't seem to get offended when i say somethings to you when I'm mad. You just laugh it off and treat it as if its nothing. You know your a dork, you call me long distance for no reason, well maybe except the times when you woke up to call me and tell me about your strange dreams about us hanging out. I hope your strange dreams do come true. I want to meet you in person and see if your the same awesome person I exchange texts with over msn and text messages. Maybe after spending a day with me, well probably less then a day you'd see why I get dumped or discover something new or maybe I learn something new about you...like how much of an ass hole you are. I kid. If i went down to modesto to meet you, I'd probably spend more time with your dog. I dont want to make your girlfriend jealous or make her feel neglected. I don't want you to break up with her just because I'm around. I know I sound very self -centered, but I don't know what you'd do. When we talk, you never mention her, its like she doesnt exist at all and I feel like if I'm your girlfriend.

well, like you said I shouldn't bring myself down. So I'll try not to in the future. Thanks again for everything you do.

Sephora 3rd opening!

Yup, so during the summer 2 Sephoras had opened. One in Coquitlam center and one in Pacific Center. I think they originally announced 3 locations? The third one was still being built and they had to find a location for it. Which they did in the end.So I went in just to check things out. I didn't expect to spend so much there. I never really spend that much money on make up in general.

So i guess at every opening they give out free stuff. I think Pacific and Coquitlam center were giving out umbrellas, to the beauty insiders. I am a BI, but I never really got a card....or any emails regarding free stuff. I hope that changes soon! Or Imma cry! lol well i think im just gonna make another email and maybe or hopefully i get something from there.

Now, my haul for the day,

• Sephora colourful pallette in taupe model 14
• Benefit Bad Girl Lash mascara 
• Kat Von D Tattoo Ink eye liner in Trooper
• Sephora Pro eyeshadow brush
• Sephora Brand falsies
  

I'll do a review for everything later.

Daniel D - The truth

This is probably my ultimate all time favorite song. It makes me think about things...

Dedication.

Today, when I went to go pick up my dog from my friend's place. I asked her the usual question, like "how was the walk?" "Did you see any one today,"...etc. She gave me the usual answer, and another story with it.

She told me about this gentlemen, whom I think I've met only once, he had a jack russel terrier (boy) and I forgot what was the other dog (it was a female). So today, my friend ran into him, she asked what happened to his girl. His response was, "one day, she couldn't get up. Her spine had collapsed on her, and I had to put her down. Your in the same position too with your older one too right?" So she responded, Yes, she is. She knew how it felt to have such an old dog and knew that one day, she would get out of bed. Before parting ways, the final question  she asked him was, "are you going to get another dog?" I wasn't there to see his face but I probably know how he would of felt. He just simply said,

"No, my wife would leave me if I got another dog,"

The moment my friend told me that line, instantly I knew the pain he felt. Although I'm not married, I still knew the pain. You had to pick something that you put so much time and effort into, or some one that you want to spend the rest of your life with. I was somewhat given the same choice to think about. Honestly if i could, I would want the both of them.  I love him a lot and really willing to work things out with him, but i guess i made some wrong moves that made him think otherwise. I should really stop hoping that he'll call me, if he felt the same he's probably hoping I message or call him. I dont want to make things worse, so im just going to leave things the way they are until one of us caves in.

I really hate it when people ask you to give something up, especially when you put so much time and dedication into it...

-insert image -

I'm feeling exactly the same right now.